I’m wondering how many people have heard of the word,
“trichotillomania” or any other type of OCD’s. The reason I ask is because
OCD’s affect many people, and sometimes without the proper treatment and
diagnosing, these impulsive behaviors may go undiagnosed and untreated which is
in no way beneficiary to the person with an OCD.
For those of you who didn’t know what trichotillomania was,
trichotillomania is the irresistible urge to pull one’s hair (or in some cases
as I’ve researched, eat one’s hairs). Hair pulling for different people can be
either the scalp, eyebrows, and/or eyelashes. There are many instances in which
people may choose to pick from more than one, but it seems that most just stick
with one.
Ever since I was twelve, I could tell you my first time
picking my hair. The day it happened, I was on my way back home from a baptism
in Syracuse, when all of a sudden, I started playing around with my hair and I
tugged hard on one strand and out it came. I remember thinking first, “ouch”
but only to look down at the strand and then look at the end of the strand and
see the hair follicle attached to it. While nobody was looking, I started
picking a strand by strand and kept pulling more consistently, fascinated. As
weird as it may sound, I didn’t really think anything of it. Yes, I was
embarrassed for my weird fascination but I was too hooked to stop.
Over time people at school, at home, and just about
everywhere else started noticing my patches on my head, even when I tried really
hard to cover up. This cover up caused me to feel ashamed for what I was doing
and the more I told myself to stop, the harder it was. I was like a machine,
and I felt so gross. Towards the end of my seventh grade, I lost two friends
because of my hair pulling, them telling me that they couldn’t be friends with
me because I pulled my hair. I became even more discouraged and depressed, that
I felt like something was legitimately wrong with me. My parents and I tried
everything at first, we tried hair drops, we tried head injections with a
dermatologist and nothing seemed to work. I used to wear bandannas to school
from until the seventh grade to the eighth grade. Once starting high school, I
would just tie my hair but no matter how I styled my hair, I still pulled.
While going to therapy, I came to realize that my depression
and my trich came hand in hand. Okay, let me explain. When depressed, we are
all aware that there are people who do harmful things to themselves to relieve
the pain/sadness/anger that they have within themselves. Pulling my hair was my
equivalent to someone else’s cutting. While keeping a journal log of when I
pulled, I came to realize my pulling moments where when I was highly agitated,
depressed, angered, or bored. So together with my therapist we worked out a way
so that I could stop.
Unfortunately for people with trichotillomania and other
OCD’s most of these OCD’s have no cure. BUT… just because you can’t find a
cure, there is a way for you to stop with these impulsive behaviors, you just
have to find the way to help you stop.
I would advise anyone with any type of OCD, to keep a
journal and log in moments when they pull. For example, I was watching tv
during my first attempt at the journal logs, and I had the urge to pull and no
matter how hard I distracted myself, the urge was getting to strong so I
started playing with the stress ball my therapist gave me. Whenever, you feel
the urge to pull or to bite your skin or nails or to wash your hands 50 billion
times, just do anything to distract yourself from doing what you shouldn’t be
doing. I know it’s easier said than done but once you acknowledge the factors
that cause your OCD, you can work through it and hopefully find a stress
relieving way to get rid of these urges.
I think that when it comes to OCDs, people who are unaware
of these behaviors have to realize that these behaviors are like an addiction
to those suffering. Once you’re reeled in, you’re hooked. The more you try to
stop, the harder it becomes. OCD’s are just like any other type of addictions
that other people have, such as those addicted to gambling or nicotine or
drinking. Most people with OCDs are in denial, which is what happened to me
initially, I refused to accept the fact that I had an “addiction”. I felt like
if I didn’t acknowledge it, it would go away eventually. How wrong I was.
The first step is always accepting your problems and working
towards eliminating them and getting better, there are many therapists who
specialize in helping people with these behaviors and helping them either to
lessen these behaviors or manage to eliminate these behaviors. For those of you
who don’t have these behaviors, but know people who have an impulsive behavior
I’d suggest being there for them and helping them actually get better, and not
criticizing.
